To be okay or not?

Be mindful of how you treat others because the same way not everyone will know what you are experiencing is the same way you will not know everything that others are going through. We all experience highs and lows in life. With this, we need to accept that everyone’s highs and lows will are different, and that everyone will react differently to them.

One of the best things you can do for others is to ask them what you can do for them: would they like to talk? Would they like some space? Would they like a distraction? And so on.

We often tell one another that ‘it’s okay not to be okay’. I do believe in this statement, and it is something we all need to be reminded of sometimes. However, I question if there is a chance that we can rely on this belief too much. Is there a chance that we will start allowing each other to become complacent? Is there a chance we could be at risk of no longer thinking we need to hold ourselves accountable for our own toxic and negative cycles? Is there a chance we are giving ourselves an excuse to be down and out for too long?

As a result of the lows we experience, it is okay to feel overcome with negative emotions, or to feel like you want to give up. However, we cannot give ourselves permission to experience these lows forever. We cannot use these moments to permanently delay our comebacks and wallow in our own self-pity.

It can be extremely difficult to cope when you feel like nothing you do is ever good enough. Sometimes, it feels like the universe is against you. The issue is not necessarily the negative thoughts or emotions, because it can be healthy to experience them as a part of your healing process. But that is just it, it is a ‘part’ of the process, or a step on the path, and not the destination. My key word there was ‘process’. It means you should not stay trapped in your negative cycle for an extended period. What I have learnt is that the more negative thoughts I allow myself to have, the more I prolong my low phase and allow my negative cycle to continue. So, you need to find ways to break yourself out of it. Do things you enjoy, treat yourself, spend time with people you love, or if you do not know what to do then ask others for help. As difficult as it is to be vulnerable, try to find one person in your life that you feel comfortable with and allow yourself to build confidence to open up to them.

If you are helping someone going through a low point or hard time, then firstly it is great that you are trying to support another individual navigate through a challenging time. Try to do this in a healthy manner for all those involved, (including yourself). Always aim to respect their boundaries and wishes, but do not allow them to stay down and out for too long. Yes, you cannot force them out of their low moment, but you can encourage them to pick themselves back up. Remind them that their choices are to stay in this low or to keep pushing forward.

While it is okay not to be okay, you cannot choose to not be okay forever.

2 responses to “To be okay or not?”

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